Ugh, poor writing
Dec. 17th, 2013 08:16 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
monkey5sI did finish the book Death's apprentice: a Grimm City novel. At no point did I enjoy it. And it was supposedly inspired by certain tales from the Brothers Grimm- they list the works, none of which I recognized. Funny how stripping away the trappings of folklore from things like that can leave you with heavy-handed, moralistic dreck. I know the first author listed on the work was one recommended from something else I had read. Now I will be sure to avoid them.
Seriously, there was such poor writing early in the book that I nearly shut it and threw it across the room. We set the scene for the start of chapter 3 with:
"The dark clouds hung low in the sky, filling every direction visible to the naked eye, from one horizon beyond the city's tall office towers to the masses of craggy hills that ranged even farther in the distance. Rain pelted down, hammering the streets as well as the people and cars on them. The gutters ran like rivers, swift and engulfing, the muddied waters sloshing across the sidewalks and into the doorsteps of the grey buildings."
Then, not even a full page later, we get this:
"Startled, the madman looked back over his hunched shoulder. Across the sodden rubbish and brown weeds straggling up between the paving stones, a figure sat on one of the broken benches at the side. Vandals' boots had broken apart the bench's wooden planks, leaving just space enough for one person to sit. The dim moonlight that managed to slide through the shafts of rain revealed only the glint of blue eyes watching the madman."
That last sentence, right there. NO. NO MOONLIGHT. DRENCHING STORMY DOWNPOUR =/= MOONLIGHT OF ANY KIND. Also? Night vision (i.e.: moonlight is occurring) =/= visible eye color in that moonlight. This is the kind of sloppy writing that makes me hit the back button immediately when I'm reading fan fiction. This book was published by an imprint of St. Martin's Press.
Seriously, there was such poor writing early in the book that I nearly shut it and threw it across the room. We set the scene for the start of chapter 3 with:
"The dark clouds hung low in the sky, filling every direction visible to the naked eye, from one horizon beyond the city's tall office towers to the masses of craggy hills that ranged even farther in the distance. Rain pelted down, hammering the streets as well as the people and cars on them. The gutters ran like rivers, swift and engulfing, the muddied waters sloshing across the sidewalks and into the doorsteps of the grey buildings."
Then, not even a full page later, we get this:
"Startled, the madman looked back over his hunched shoulder. Across the sodden rubbish and brown weeds straggling up between the paving stones, a figure sat on one of the broken benches at the side. Vandals' boots had broken apart the bench's wooden planks, leaving just space enough for one person to sit. The dim moonlight that managed to slide through the shafts of rain revealed only the glint of blue eyes watching the madman."
That last sentence, right there. NO. NO MOONLIGHT. DRENCHING STORMY DOWNPOUR =/= MOONLIGHT OF ANY KIND. Also? Night vision (i.e.: moonlight is occurring) =/= visible eye color in that moonlight. This is the kind of sloppy writing that makes me hit the back button immediately when I'm reading fan fiction. This book was published by an imprint of St. Martin's Press.
