monkey5s

So. Last day of work came, and last day of work went. I was, of course, trying to get all the last-minute things done as everyone else was ready to go.

I did get all my balloons, but I failed to remember my banner that was rolled up in my mailbox.

The one cat is giving the mylar, helium-filled balloons (that I have tied to the kitchen curtain rod) a hard eyeball. I suspect she does not approve. They are still unless the door opens or the furnace fan is running, then they move around.

I went through the day feeling little panic attacks move over me. By late afternoon my stomach was a big ball of stress. Right now I have no idea what I am going to do- all the structure of my life is now gone, and I have to start from scratch. Yes, bravo, sky's the limit (sort of), do whatever you want (if it's feasible) and so on. But getting from here to there? Yikes.

I know I have January's bills covered, and groceries shouldn't be a problem yet. Still don't have the medical cards for my new coverage, still don't have any real idea what the retirement system will consider an interim payment, plenty plenty to be nervous about.

And I know I would not be in such bad shape if I had a single solitary person with whom to share my fears and stress. But I'll put that in the "work on it later" pile.

So, it's New Year's Eve, the cats and I are here at the house on our own. I tried calling the s-i-l but there was no answer. I have the makings for nachos with guacamole, if my stomach stops flipping around with stress. I'm sure it'll be fine.

But first I think I feel a little crying jag coming on.